The Sound of Thunder
by DarknessIsTheUniverse
Summary: "Now, Hogan, this time you can t escape.", Hochstetter sneered: "So you better start telling me everything about your operation before I test how many of your men s lives your secret is worth." Hogan/Newkirk slash  One sided, angsty, possible death
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Hogan´s Heroes doesn't belong to me, I don't get money for this (*snif*) and so on…

I suppose it should be rated T (PG 13+), for some violence and mature themes.

A/N: This is my first fanfic about HH. It is kinda slashy ( Hogan/Newkirk) I guess, but mostly musing mixed with some angst. The title refers to Ray Bradbury´s "A sound of thunder". I don't know how famous that story is, we had to read it during junior year. Anyway, it´s basically about how one little step can have tremendous consequences. No, it´s not about time travel. Have fun reading it even though it´s not meant to be funny.

The Sound of Thunder

The nightly prison cell was so devoid of light and life that Hogan could have sworn he was completely alone. And even though he knew well that his men lay sleeping close by, that was what he felt like. Cold and utterly lost.

A low cough just outside the iron bars he was leaning on told him that the guards had retreated but never left. Major Hochstetter had given them strict orders not to take their eyes of them, knowing too well how the American colonel and his team had managed to somehow get out of situations like these time and time again. Not this time though. Hogan softly hits his head against the metal bars, careful not to make any noise.

How could he have been so stupid? So reckless? They all lived and worked through each day with the knowing the risk and the possible consequences. Yet he had never really believed it would come to this. Sure, he had told his men over and over how dangerous their missions were, but inwardly he had laughed at Klink´s stupidity and Hochstetter´s useless rage. Had told himself that it would be a cold day in hell before he saw the Majors frustrated grimace transform into a victorious smile. Well, merry fucking Christmas.

As he closed his eyes in an attempt to get some rest, the events of the evening flashed across his mind in vivid colors.

"_Hurry up, Carter, Kinch is waiting for us in camp.", Hogan whispered and pulled his sergeants arm. Next to him, LeBeau and Newkirk shifted nervously, their blackened faces all but invisible in the nightly forest. Next to them, their contact was getting impatient; his fingers twitched as if he was about to just rip the detonator out of Carters hands. "Just a sec.", Carter mumbled as he fumbled with the detonator: "Tomorrow morning, Müller, when it´s time to blow up the munitions depot, you wanna press this button from no more than 50 feet away, otherwise it won´t work." Müller nodded curtly and grabbed the device. "You can count on me.", he promised Colonel Hogan: "Thank you gentlemen, with this mission you might just have decided the war." _

"_We´ll see about that in the moring.", Hogan answered but he couldn't stop himself from smiling at the men´s words: "Now we need to get going so we are in camp when the bomb goes off. Believe me, I can´t wait to see Hochstetter´s face." _

_The men´s soft laughter was cut short when a dark voice suddenly came from above them: "You won´t have to wait, Colonel, it must be your lucky day."_

_They whirled around to see no other than Major Hochstetter and tree armed guards emerging from the trees. The major grinned at Hogan in glee: "Or maybe it´s mine." _

_Before Hogan had even processed what had happened, Müller suddenly spun around and dashed for the nearby trees. "Halt!", Hochstetter shouted and motioned for his guards to fire. Several gunshots broke through the nightly forest, and birds shrieked in the air. One of the guards ran after Müller while the other two remained with their guns trained at Hogan and his men. "Keine Bewegung!", one of them shouted harshly, and the butt of his rifle connected hard with Newkirk´s temple. The corporal moaned in pain as his knees gave out and he dropped the gun he had apparently attempted to draw. Hogan whirled around and instinctively reached for his arm but was immediately shoved back by the other guard: "Hände hoch!" _

_Hogan, as well as Carter and LeBeau complied while Newkirk was roughly jerked to his feet and held at gunpoint as well. _

"_Well Major.", he started talking in a light tone, the one he usually used with Hochstetter. Inwardly, his mind was reeling. His concern for Newkirk didn't exactly make it easier for him to concentrate. They needed to get out of this situation fast, but how could they without killing Hochstetter? After all he´d seen their faces. What to do? What to do? They couldn't run anymore without risking one or more of them getting shot in the back. They couldn't fight without weapons. "Out for a midnight stroll as well, I see. It really is a small world." Hochstetter scowled briefly, but his overall confidence didn't falter. He knew he had the upper hand this time. _

"_Very funny, Hogan.", he smiled: "Why don't I laugh about it on the way to the car?" He jerked his gun in the general direction of the street that Hogan knew was close by: "Los, los! Get moving!"_

_Hogan nodded at his men to oblige. For now, their only chance was to play along. Maybe they could come up with a plan once they were wherever Hochstetter planned to lock them up. Maybe Kinch would get worried and send backup, maybe…_

_He almost lost his balance when Newkirk was shoved forwards by one of the guards and slammed into his arm. This time he managed to break the corporal´s fall. "Schneller!", the guard behind them barked and Hogan swiftly pulled Newkirk forward, not letting go of his upper arm as he followed Carter and LeBeau. "You okay, Newkirk?" Instead of an answer he got a question. "´Ow are we getting out of this one, gov´nor?", he whispered so close to Hogan´s ear that Hochstetter wouldn't hear. The colonel´s grip around his arm tightened for a second, than he answered in his usual, seemingly carefree manner: "Just like we always do, Newkirk. Just like always." _

_Newkirk´s eyes bored into the side of his face for moment but he didn´t object. Hogan made sure not to look straight at him. He wasn't sure if his words had convinced the young corporal; after all he wasn't so sure of them himself._

Hogan´s eyes flew open when a sudden noise disrupted his thoughts. He looked around the basement only to find the guards still out of sight and Carter and LeBeau dozing shoulder to shoulder by the opposite wall. His eyes found Newkirk, who was crouched about a foot to his left, his hands quickly retrieving a metal cup from the floor. "Sorry, sir.", he whispered, the apologetic expression on his face clearly visible despite the dark: "I didn't mean to wake you." He refilled the cup with water from the bucket they´d surprisingly received and held it out for Hogan. He took it gratefully and gulped some of it down.

"You didn't.", he then replied: "I was just thinking…"

"About what Hochstetter has planned for us or about how we´re going to escape?"

Hogan frowned a little: "I´m pretty sure I know what Hochstetter´s up to. He just threw us in here and it´s been almost three hours since he left with that guard Weber. They´re looking for Müller out in the woods. And when they´re done, whether they find him or not, they'll come back here for us."

"Maybe it won´t be before morning. At roll call, Klink will know were missing and Hochstetter will have to bring us back to camp.", Newkirk said hopefully.

"Not if he doesn't know Hochstetter´s got us.", Hogan answered absentmindedly, so low that no one else would hear it. No point in getting everyone down with him.

Because, there was no plan and as much as he wanted to believe in Newkirk´s scenario, the look in Hochstetter´s eyes had been hard to misinterpret. The man had spent countless days and nights trying to prove Hogan guilty of something, anything, and he surely wasn't about to let this opportunity slip through his fingers. No, this wouldn't be as easy as a few cheeky answers that didn't deserve the term and a ride home in the morning. Playtime was over. At least for them it was.

He had a feeling that it was just starting for Hochstetter.

His eyes flitted over to Carter and LeBeau who had crashed some time ago. As upset and nervous as they´d all been, the frequent nightly missions had taken their toll, and when Hochstetter had not come back even after hours, they´d finally given in to sleep. Newkirk had refused to fall asleep, knowing that Hogan would be up trying to figure out how to make it out of here. But as much as Hogan appreciated that, it was pointless as neither of them had gotten any closer to an escape plan. Newkirk looked as tired as he himself felt as he suppressed a yawn. Despite his hopeful demeanor, his expression now gave away his worry and distress.

Hogan, once he had started watching him, couldn't seem to tear his eyes away anymore. Sitting there in the dark, with his hands ruffling his hair, the usually smart and confident man suddenly looked as frail as a leaf in the wind. The hopelessness of their situation came crashing down on Hogan with a force that almost knocked the breath out of him.

Hogan had to grab the cell´s bars to steady himself. He couldn't save them. He was their leader, the one they counted on, but there was nothing he could do this time. There was nothing he wanted more than to protect his men, protect Newkirk, throw an arm around him like he was prone to do, and tell him it would all be fine. But he couldn't. And maybe he never would again.

Not if Hochstetter had any say in his fate. And suddenly he knew he had to tell him, tell Newkirk, what he should have said a long time ago, before it was too late.

_Hogan couldn't remember the excact moment he had fallen in love with Peter Newkirk. _

_Maybe it had been on one of their more dangerous missions saving each other's lives, maybe during their long nights of playing poker and talking about everything and nothing when the other prisoners had long since fallen asleep. In retrospective, he had been standing in the barracks with the men, talking about some mission, one arm around Newkirk´s shoulders, when it had hit him. His grip had involuntarily tightened when he tensed and Newkirk turned to him in surprise. _

"_Everything all right, sir?", he´d asked, his brows furrowed slightly, while Hogan gazed into his green eyes. Those beautiful eyes…_

"_Yeah…", he finally managed to croak, fighting the shock of his revelation: "Sure, why wouldn't it be?" Now the other turned to look at him in concern as well. _

"_Well, you just stopped talking in the middle of a sentence…", LeBeau frowned, scrutinizing his colonels face. Hogan had dropped his arm like he´d burned it and had stepped up to the map in order to look professional: "Sorry guys, I just figured out how to best steal those plans without raising suspicion…" _

_Luckily he´d had that idea before his lapse. He´d explained his plan to them, acting as he always did and had then hastily retreated to his office. None of them had noticed. Not that night and not after. Especially not Newkirk._

_The days and weeks after this night, he had struggled with it. For quite a while he had even tried to consciously avoid his corporal, and to spend more time in bars with German girls. Then he had started to imagine it was Newkirk he was kissing instead and those endeavors ended abruptly. As much as he tried, there was no getting away from it, much less denying his feelings. _

_From that point on his confusion had been replaced by the fear of what would happen if the others ever found out. Would they ever look at him the same again? Would Newkirk? No matter how uncertain he was about everything else, Hogan knew he couldn't risk losing the corporal´s friendship and their time spent together. So he had kept quiet and acted as normal as possible. Only when no one was looking had he allowed himself to stare at Newkirk, to imagine how it would feel to run his hands through his dark hair, to pull him close and see his feelings reflected in those brilliant eyes. It had nearly driven him mad, but it was still so much better than when he´d avoided him. _

_Now he arranged for them to go on mission together more often than not; afterwards they would sometimes slip into the Hofbräuhaus for some beers and just relax. With the alcohol in his system, Newkirk would not notice Hogan's hand lingering on him just a little too long, or find anything unusual in the way Hogan wrapped an arm around his waist just a little too tightly when he helped him keep his balance on the way home. _

_For a while he had almost believed that it would be enough for him to go on like this forever. That it would be enough for him to look at him, be close to him…_

_Until one night in December. _

_Carter, LeBeau and Kinch were out on a mission in Hamelburg, Newkirk had come down with a fever that morning and felt too weak to even get up. Colonel Hogan had unceremoniously shifted his job to Carter who grudgingly accepted, and then ushered Newkirk into his office so he could sleep in quiet. He himself had stayed behind as well, what with the mission´s target knowing his face. _

_It was late and outside his office door all was quiet; the team would not return for at least an hour or so. Hogan had sat at his desk, a book in hand, blankly staring at the blurry letters in front of him, while really all he did was to listen to his corporal´s shallow breaths. The last thing he had wanted to do was to sit there and stare at Newkirk like a schoolgirl while the man was sleeping. Yet he couldn't seem to help himself. Newkirk´s face was slightly flushed from the fever, beads of sweat on his forehead. Still he was unbelievably beautiful to him. _

_Before he could stop himself, Hogan had dropped the book and walked over to the bottom bunk. He had kneeled down, one hand resting on the mattress beside the corporal´s arm, the other hovering inches over his face. Carefully he had run his fingertips over it, first across his cheek, then his jaw. He was just brushing some loose streaks out of his forehead when Newkirk´s eyes fluttered open. To shocked to react, Hogan had remained frozen in his position while his brain produced mud instead of explanations for his behavior._

"_Colonel Hogan?", Newkirk had croaked, squinting his eyes with some effort. His eyes seemed glazed over, no doubt due to too much cough medicine. Wilson had provided him with it earlier in the evening and it seemed to be a little too effective. "Where am…where is here?", Newkirk murmured disoriented: "When is… now…?" _

_Hogan had let out a sigh of relief and then smiled at him with some amusement. Not only was Newkirk far from able to make any logical judgments, he also didn't seem to notice the pause in which he finally made up a response. "It´s okay.", he said softly: "You´re in my office. I didn't mean to wake you, I was just gonna see if your fever has gone down."_

_Newkirk nodded with some delay. "Did it?", he asked sleepily. Hogan smiled, his hand still somewhat entwined in the other man´s hair: _

"_You should be fine in a day or so. You´ll be back doing Carters job in no time." Newkirk snorted soflty: "Wouldn't mind him doing it for a bit longer, blimey…" His eyelids fell heavily over and over but he kept them open to return Hogan´s gaze. _

"_Sorry for blocking your bunk…", he said out of context, like he was about to doze off again. "Don't worry about it...", Hogan risked trailing his fingers through his soft hair some more; Newkirk didn't seem to notice: "I´m on top anyway." Newkirk chuckled subdued: "That's what I thought, gov´nor, that's what I thought…" _

_It had taken Hogan a moment to figure out what he was talking about, and then the idea of Newkirk imagining him with some woman let the color rise to his cheeks."I don't do that anymore, ya know?", he heard himself say: "I can´t…" _

"_What…?", it didn't sound like Newkirk was questioning his words, more like he´d lost track of the conversation. Good. Maybe he wouldn't remember._

_Hogan´s hand slipped down to gently cup the corporal´s cheek. At that moment, he didn't care about the consequences anymore; he had walked on eggshells for too long, and it felt so good to just be able and sit there without hiding his true emotions. He knew that if Newkirk were lucid, he´d probably see the loving and longing look in his colonels eyes, one that was entirely different from the way he looked at his men, or at most women for that matter. As it was, he just lay there relaxed, ready to fall asleep in the presence of his trusted superior._

_With a sudden surge of emotion, he let his head fall into the crook of Newkirk´s neck, his hands desperately clutching at the corporal´s face and shoulder. He had remained that way, his upper body probably smothering him, but unable to pull away. "If I could just tell you…", he whispered brokenly, unshed tears burning behind his eyelids: "I wish…I wish…"_

_Newkirk hadn't moved at all and when Hogan finally found the strength to look up at him again, he´d found him sound asleep. He hadn't kissed him after that; it would have felt too much like taking something that wasn't his. He´d just stayed in his position until he heard low noises from outside announcing the return of the other men. Only then had he gotten up, careful not to wake Newkirk, and left his office to greet them. He hadn't returned to his office that night; instead he´d slept on Newkirk´s empty bunk, feeling somewhat giddy and incredibly guilty at the same time. _

_The next morning, Newkirk didn't even remember that they had a conversation._

" - Sir?"

A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts and he focused on the face he´d just imagined in his head. Newkirk was looking up at him tiredly, worry etched across his features: "Maybe you should sit down for a while. You look awfully pale…"

He patted the floor next to him and Hogan's body complied without hesitation. He hadn't realized how exhausted he really was until his knees practically gave in. Newkirk´s shoulder was touching his own, a welcome source of warmth in the cold basement. So much more to him, though…

With a soft moan, he leaned his head back and tried to compose himself a little before he launched into a speech he hadn't had time to prepare yet. Well, beggars couldn't be choosers…

"Newkirk?", he asked tentatively into the dark.

"Hmm?" "There's something I need to tell you, before…", he didn't finish the sentence, but sure that its meaning could not be mistaken. In response Newkirk grabbed his shoulder fiercely, all but shaking him. "Don't start with that, colonel!", he demanded with conviction: "We´ve always gotten away with everything, well find a way out this time too. That sodding major doesn't know…" Hogan interrupted him, by pulling Newkirk´s hand from his shoulder; he didn't let go of it, just squeezed it firmly. His corporal paused, confusion dawning in his eyes. He wasn't used to seeing his ever-confident colonel this serious and it seemed to scare him more than anything else.

"Please, just listen to me.", Hogan said urgently: "I should have said something a long time ago, but I didn't know how to…heck, I still don't know…"

Newkirk just sat there, waiting clueless. It was obvious that he would have to be more specific in order for him to understand. Hogan clutched at his hand more tightly, and took one last deep breath. "Peter, I-"

"I hope I´m not interrupting anything.", a voice from behind them cut him short. Hogan whirled around to stare into Hochstetter s black, eager eyes. "I think I´ve kept you waiting long enough, gentlemen; it´s time we had a talk."

That´s it for now. There will be a second chapter soon so stay tuned^^


	2. Chapter 2

The Sound of Thunder

So this is part two for you. There is some German again, which will be explained down below. Im kinda starting to feel bad for the guys while writing this…but I´ll pull through anyhow^^

Let me know what you think of it.

* * *

"I´ve waited long enough, Hogan.", Hochstetter said as he approached the cell: "It´s time to end this once and for all."

Hogan and Newkirk had jumped in surprise when they´d heard his voice, both of them leaping to their feet and backing away in unison. Hochstetter smiled upon seeing it and motioned for the guard next to him to open the door. They stepped into the cell, the two guards instantly directing their rifles at the prisoners. One of them, Weber, loudly banged the metal piece of his weapon against the bars, and Carter and LeBeau woke with a start.

"Perfect.", Hochstetter all but purred. He seemed in an unusually good mood, which couldn't be good: "Now that I have everybody´s attention: This is what´s going to happen. You are going to tell me everything about your operation and about that little scheme you were working on tonight; Hogan, or I´ll I test how many of your men´s lives your secret is worth."

That did hit home.

With some effort, Hogan put on his patented the-devil-may-care-face, as he shrugged: "I was afraid you would start with that again, major, but as I´ve told you before, I´m just a POW. We all are."

He was still a little out of it, the change of situation had happened all too quickly. And with his brain still somewhat entangled in his feelings surrounding Newkirk, he was glad to see that his words threw Hochstetter off for now. The major´s face took on an unhealthy shade of red as he stalked closer, the guards at his heels.

"I´ve put up with your audacity for long enough, Hogan!", he snarled: "Be warned: I am not your nitwit of a kommandant, and no one is here to make sure I stick to the rules of the Geneva Convention. Now. Who was that man in the woods?"

Inwardly, Hogan breathed a sigh of relief. So Müller had gotten away; at least their mission wasn't lost yet -as long as they kept quiet.

"Oh, that was some guy we met after we´d escaped from Stalag 13. We wanted to ask him for directions, but he wouldn't help us once he realized we were POW´s. he was about to leave us when you showed up. Musta panicked, I guess…"

The color of Hochstetter´s face was beginning to look alarming.

Even knowing it wasn't wise, he added innocently: "Didn't he tell you that when you found him?"

Hochstetter looked as if he were about to hit him. At least a small victory in their dreadful situation. The major didn't comment on his mockery, instead he replied: "You weren't trying to escape. You had camouflage on; you were out there sabotaging the Reich!"

Hogan didn't even bat an eye as he lied smoothly: "The clothes were so we would not be seen fleeing. Pretty good move, if I should say so myself. We didn't even have to dye them, stay at Stalag 13 long enough and you´ll look like a chimney sweeper yourself…", he paused, pretending like an idea came to him only now. "But I forget, you already do.", he commented on Hochstetter´s uniform.

Behind him, Carter snorted in amusement.

The taller guard, Weber, stepped up to him and brutally rammed the butt of his rifle into his stomach. The young sergeant wheezed in pain and slumped into LeBeau, trying to catch his breath. "Ruhe!"

"Andrew! Are you alright?", Newkirk spun around in concern for his friend; LeBeau just nodded reassuringly while he patted Carter´s back. Both corporals glared at the guard with open fury, just barely holding back from striking back.

Meanwhile, Hogan only stared at Hochstetter, all humor gone from his face.

"You´ll want to return us to camp, Major, before you get into trouble for this.", he said coolly. Only his clenched fists betrayed his true feelings.

He meant _trouble with them_ of course, and they both knew it, but it was no proof of anything as he could also mean Burkhalter or Klink.

"Oh, don't worry about me, Hogan. I´ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Burkhalter won´t be upset for long when he hears that I prevented sabotage and caught the saboteur in the same night." "Or he´ll court martial you for going behind his back and coming up with no useful results whatsoever."

Hochstetter´s countenance didn't falter. It was almost eerie to see him this calm, when all he usually did was throw fits and make empty threats. Maybe his new confidence came from seeing the look on Hogan's face when Carter had gone down, from the knowledge that this time, finally, he was on the winning side.

"That´s why I need your help, Hogan.", he explained: "I will get the information out of you, it´s your choice if by persuasion, corruption or coercion."

"I don't have any information. "

Even that did nothing to throw the Major off: "Well, in that case, you are no use to me and I will have to tell Klink that his prisoners were shot while trying to escape.", he grinned in a way that made Hogan think he was going to be sick: "My hands are bound, you see? It´s all up to you, colonel."

Hogan briefly glanced at his men, fear surging through him even as he tried to hide it. Carter was still panting heavily and LeBeau cursed softly under his breath in what was likely French. Newkirk stood motionless next to Weber, his face pale but his eyes full of determination as he stared into Hogan´s.

Slowly, invisible for anyone else, he shook his head. Hogan knew what he was saying, and he knew that Carter and LeBeau would tell him the same thing if they could.

They must not say anything. Their mission was too important.

Much more important than their lives.

It was true, Hogan knew that.

But with every second he spent looking at Newkirk he felt his own priorities shift.

What wouldn't he sacrifice to save that man? Whom wouldn't he betray? In a way, he thought, it was luck that there was no hope for any of them to get out of this, so he wasn't faced with a choice between love and honor.

As it was, their only objective was to hold out until dawn, so Müller would be able to use that detonator. After that he could break under whatever Hochstetter had planned for him. In the meantime, all he could do was try to somehow spare his men the same fate.

Without taking his eyes off Newkirk, he told Hochstetter: "Can we talk in private, Major?"

A victorious smile spread across the man´s face. He obviously thought he had already won, and that Hogan just didn't want to betray his men with them standing there, or that he really wanted to make a deal.

"Certainly, Hogan."

He waved to Weber and the guard grabbed Hogan roughly by the arm, dragging him out of the cell. Newkirk made an awkward half-step forward as if to pull Hogan back, but the colonel curtly shook his head once.

"Just until morning.", he mouthed, trying to make him understand with looks. _Just hold out until the mission has been successful._

Newkirk nodded in understanding, reluctantly falling back as Hogan was pulled into the hallway and up the stairs. Darkness swallowed his silhouette much too soon.

They entered a rather spacious office on the first floor and the guard shoved Hogan into a chair in front of the desk. Hochstetter closed the door behind him, shrugging of his coat. He leaned against the side of his desk in front of Hogan.

"So you've finally come to your senses. Very good. Now. I want to know every one of your accomplices, your contacts, your missions. Admit that you have been sabotaging this area for years." "And?", Hogan retorted.

Hochstetter raised one brow in confusion: "And what?"

"What do I get in return? It´s hardly a bargain if you´re the only one profiting from it." That didn't seem to sit well with him; still he snarled: "What do you want?" Without missing a breath, Hogan said: "Let my men go. They have nothing to do with anything. They were really just trying to escape."

Hochstetter merely sneered at him: "And you expect me to believe that?"

Hogan didn't allow himself to waver: "What I believe is that it´s me you want. You´re not interested in finding someone to pay for the espionage in this area, if the past years have made one thing clear, it´s that you despise _me_, want to get rid of _me_! So why not kill two birds with one stone, major? You´ll have your revenge and someone to blame for the sabotage."

He waited breathlessly, watching as Hochstetter chewed on his lip for a long moment.

"Fine.", he eventually gave in.

"You´ll send them back to Stalag 13 right away?"

This time Hochstetter outright laughed at him: "Very funny, indeed. Of course not. They can go once I got what I want."

Hogan tried not to let his devastation show. That had been his only shot at somehow getting the guys out of here unharmed. His heart fell as the thought of them hurt or worse raised goose bumps on his arms. Now all he could do was stall…

"Now, what was the man´s name? The one in the forest?" "I don't know his name.", Hogan lied bleakly: "Only his face." "Fine. We´ve got some pictures."

He barely acknowledged Hochstetter leaving the room in order to get his material. He just sat sunken into the chair with his stare going blank. It was over. He couldn't really tell Hochstetter anything without incriminating everyone. All he could do was try and convince him that he really was a lone fighter, but what were the chances of that?

A lump in his throat rose as he saw all of their faces in front of them: Choleric but feisty LeBeau. Naive but oh so cordial Carter. Newkirk. With a sudden rush of sheer panic he wondered if he had already seen him for the last time.

Was this it? Would he die without ever having been truthful?

Maybe it was for the better. Why taint the men's´ memories of their colonel, why let Newkirk go on wondering about him? Not that he would have to deal with that confession for long as it was.

Suddenly, it seemed almost impossible to sit still. He squirmed in the chair, longing to get up, run out and back to the basement. Even if it was pointless, dangerous and stupid, just so he could see him once more before he had to go. The guard next to him shifted nervously. "Sitzen bleiben!", he barked, pointing the rifle at his head. Weirdly, that actually helped somewhat: Before he would watch that bastard point the gun at Newkirk he would go through whatever hell was necessary. Only until dawn.

Hochstetter returned much too soon, putting down what looked like a book full of pictures on the desk in front of him. He pointed at the first page: "Let´s start, shall we? Which of these suspects are involved in your operation?" Hogan took one last deep breath in order to compose himself, before he leaned toward them with mock concentration. It was a pretty thick book. Only until dawn…

"That´s enough!" Beyond furious, Hochstetter slammed to photo album shut. Hogan simply leaned back in his chair, his face carefully blank. "Wont you let me look at the rest of them?", he asked. In the last…what seemed like hours, he had made a show of taking his sweet time with every picture, carefully scrutinizing each face, and then…shaking his head.

Hochstetter had grown more and more frustrated by the minute and it seemed that his patience had finally run out. "You think this is a game, Hogan?, the major hissed, grabbing the collar of his bomber jacket: "You are actually trying to tell me you have never seen any of these people?"

Hogan merely shrugged, busy with keeping up his façade. Actually, he had seen Tiger in there, and Fritz was on page fifty something.

"I´m afraid so, sir.", he replied: "Unless I look at the other-" He was cut short when Hochstetter´s gloved fist connected with his face. Pain shot through his jaw and he bit back a moan. As he looked into the other man´s eyes they were black as torrid coal, seething and beyond reasoning. "No more. You've had your chance." Sometime during his little speech he found his grin back, and it was by far more terrifying than his anger: "Now it´s time to change the rules of our little game. Why should you be the only one having fun?"

Fear surged through Hogan once more as he anticipated what was meant by that. "I assure you, if you just give me more time…" "Your time is up, Hogan. Los! Aufstehen!"

Before he could say anything else, he was roughly dragged out of the room by Weber. As they marched through the hallways, all he could hope was that they were just going to kill him. But then, what were the chances of that?

He knew of the Gestapo interrogation techniques, he just didn't know how long he could withstand them. If only he knew what time it was, but he couldn't see any windows and he could hardly ask Hochstetter for the time. So he would just have to hold out as long as he could. He straightened up and braced himself for the torture to come.

Whatever he had expected- it was worse. Instead of some cellar, he was lead straight back to the basement. Comprehension dawned on him, and he started fighting the guards grip around his arm but it was too late. Weber had already run ahead of them and as they neared the all too familiar cell, he saw why. Carter, Newkirk and LeBeau were kneeling on the ground in a row, their hands cuffed behind their backs. Weber stood over them with his gun drawn just as Hochstetter had Hogan shoved inside. He blanched at the scene´s resemblance to an execution. The effect of this wasn't lost on the gleeful major:

"Remember me wondering just how much you will sacrifice to guard your secret? Well, were about to find out."

It was his worst nightmare coming true right in front of him. By now, he had almost let himself hope that it had been an empty thread, or that Hochstetter had already forgotten, but no. He caught the slight flicker of fear in Carter´s creaseless face before he tried to compose himself, and it felt like he´d been punched. Both Newkirk and LeBeau kneeled with ramrod straight backs, showing nothing but glacial contempt for their captors. Brave until the end. They would go down guarding his back without a blink. That almost hit him harder than Carter´s slipping expression.

Hogan´s nails dug into the palms of his clenched fists until he could feel the skin breaking. By now, he almost wanted to throw any silly sense of pride overboard and start pleading with Hochstetter; convince him to have another fruitless look at those pictures, possibly just yell at the man, but Newkirk beat him to it: "The only secret ´ere is ´ow a bleedin´ nut like you got admitted into the service! You´re delusional, don't you see that? We´re bloody POW´s, not some special task force from your super hero comics!" LeBeau smiled grimly as he added: "And nothing you do will bring you to any other result, so you might as well give up, boche."

Hochstetter turned on them, a truly frightening look entering his eyes.

"Is that so?", he said, seemingly gentle. He arched one eyebrow and briefly glanced at Hogan. "Are you sure you don't have anything to add or rectify, colonel?"

Hogan spared him only a brief look of barely concealed contempt. He was way to busy panicking and trying to think of a way out. Take the Major´s attention off them, back to him…

"Guys, let me handle this, alright?", he heard himself say: "There are things I haven't told you about me…"

While his voice stayed neutral, he intently stared at them, first LeBeau, then Newkirk, willing them to go along with his plan. Newkirk was the first one to interpret the look of quiet desperation mixed with determination correctly. "No way!", he yelled, enraged: "You´re not taking the fall for whatever he tells you to just to save us!" "Absolument pas!", LeBeau joined almost in unison: "The colonel doesn't know a sacré thing!"

"A shame really…", Hochstetter muttered. "Let´s see if this will refresh his memory.", he snarled as he stepped up and viciously kicked LeBeau in the gut.

* * *

Ugh, feeling worse somehow. And I can´t even say it will get nicer next chapter. There was not much Hogan/Newkirk this chapter but then its only one aspect of the plot, there to make this story even more depressing^^ The next one will bring their arc to a conclusion though as well as the rest.

The German (and French, hey^^) words mean the following:

Sitzen bleiben!- Stay seated.

Ruhe! –Be quiet.

Aufstehen! –Get up.

Btw, not all German is barked commands with exclamation marks, in case anyone was wondering. Sometimes we speak normally, but then, we´re not fictional Nazi officers. :-)

As for the French: Absolument pas! –Absolutely not. And sacré means damn.

That´s it from me for now. Hope you liked it.


	3. Chapter 3

Hogan 3

Alright, this is the third chapter and also the end. I know it´s rather short but there´s nothing more to add, in my opinion at least. Maybe I´ll write a longer story soon, we´ll see. I´ve also included some lyrics of a song I thought was fitting. It´s named Der letzte Kuss (The last kiss) and it´s by a German band called Tote Hosen. Don't worry, I translated the lyrics for you guys, still you should listen to the song on utube, it´s one of my favorites^^

Nuff w/ the boring intro, enjoy:

* * *

Hochstetter looked down on the French prisoner with disgust, while he tried to catch his breath. "You son of a…!", Newkirk roared enraged, and was immediately met with the butt of Weber's rifle. When he looked up to scowl at Hochstetter, his mouth was red.

"Na, na, better save your breath, corporal.", Hochstetter sneered: "You have only got so much of it left."

"And what better way to use it to insult you!", Newkirk spat.

Hogan jumped forward as Hochstetter closed in on the English man once more, but was immediately grabbed by two of the guards. Before Hochstetter could do anything though, another guards stormed into the cell: "Major, there was a call for you from Colonel Klink."

"What did he want?"

"He meant to inform you that four of his prisoners have been reported missing.", the guard panted.

Inwardly, Hogan rejoiced. So Kinch had caught on to their predicament. Maybe even in time…

"I was going to get you but he was already on his way here…", the guard now reported. Hochstetter´s eyes bulged: "On his way…why?"

"Well, he´s coming to retrieve the prisoners with General Burkhalter." That was enough to send the major into a screaming fit again: "You told him they´re here? You blundering idiot!"

The young guard blanched, only now realizing he´d made a mistake: "I´m sorry, Herr Major.", he mumbled hastily: "I didn't think…"

"Of course not!", Hochstetter snarled: "Go and make yourself useful, private, stand outside and tell me once they´re here."

The private didn't have to be told twice; he was out of sight before the sentence was finished.

Relief washed through Hogan. So Kinch had grown worried and alarmed Klink. Maybe there was hope after all. Hochstetter noticed his expression and stepped up so close to him that their noses were all but touching.

"And why are we smiling, colonel?", he inquired.

"Your game is over, Hochstetter. Klink will get us out of here with Burkhalter´s help and we both know it.", Hogan told him swiftly.

He was beginning to feel his self confidence return. Hochstetter though wasn't impressed in the least. Instead he gave him a smile so malicious that it made him shudder.

"That might be true, Hogan.", he all but hissed: "But you want to hear what I also know`? I know it´s going to take them at least twenty minutes to get here."

Hogan thought he was going to be sick when reality hit him, hard. Hochstetter hadn't lost yet, he could still try to make him talk. And now, with his time running out, he wouldn't play around anymore.

"Fine.", he hissed angrily: "Get it over with, kill me. That's all you wanted in the first place, isn't it?"

By now he didn't even care anymore. All he wanted was to divert the man's attention whose fists were so dangerously close to Newkirk. Maybe his death would be enough to placate Hochstetter. Then the men could go back to Stalag 13 and maybe even continue their mission.

But Hochstetter burst that bubble with one snort.

"Not quite, Colonel. What I want is for you to be punished for all the times you made a fool out of me. And you will suffer, believe me, whether you confess and face a court martial or whether you watch your men being beaten to death and get to blame yourself for it for the rest of your existence. Your choice."

There was a short silence, probably to give him time to choose. Hogan barely acknowledged it over the pounding of his own heart, rushing blood through his veins. His gaze wandered over the faces of his men, the same expression on every one of them. No regret, no wavering; they already said their goodbyes to him without shedding a tear over their own imminent demise. If they could be that strong then how could he, as their senior officer, be any less brave?

_+At some point, there comes the day for everyone_

_On which we pay for everything+_

He knew he owed it to them to honor their wishes. If they wanted to die for the sake of the mission, he had to let them. He could not allow himself to think of anything but his fatherland right now. Not of all the times they spent together as a team, as friends and brothers. The fun they´d had despite their fights and the mistakes all of them had made at some point.

_+And then we stand thinking of how it used to be, _

_Regretting our mistakes+_

The family they´d come to be for him. The love he felt for every one of them and that was yet so different from the love he felt for only one of them. His burning eyes found Newkirk´s who looked back at him calmly almost as if to reassure him.

And in that moment, Hogan knew he would have given anything to prevent this reality from taking form, sacrificed anything, even his own happiness. As much as the secret of being in love with his corporal pained him every second, he would have gladly spent a hundred years forcefully keeping it inside him, if only it meant that Newkirk was save.

But he didn't even have that option now.

He should have told him earlier. Taken a chance.

Hogan knew the chances of his feeling being understood or even returned were infinitesimal. Still, it was the only thing he´d ever kept inside and denied himself, the only time he hadn't stood up for his wishes and beliefs.

_+Wishing we would have done everything differently _

_And never lost our paths+_

How could he die without at least coming clean before? But then, how could he burden the ones he left behind with that kind of mind altering confession?

For so long he had hidden his true self, because he knew that what the men, what Newkirk needed most of all, was the colonel they looked up to. He couldn't be sure they would be able to still see him that way if… so he had lived a lie and hoped for the war to end soon so he would be able to leave this unbearable situation behind.

In his mind, he had already seen himself standing at the gates of Stalag 13, the Allies rounding up the camp while he pulled Newkirk aside and told him everything. It had been partially cowardly to wait until he was free to run away in case he was rejected.

Still it had been as solid fantasy of his. And now he would never see any side of that gate and fence again. Die a hypocrite.

_+We live hiding all traces of others and of ourselves, _

_so no one will ever see who we really are .+_

Suddenly he wished he had kissed Newkirk that night in his office.

It would have been better than nothing.

But no, he had waited for the right moment, the right place, had spun his quaint fantasies around until the scenarios in front of his eyes seemed like fairytales, like they were taken from one of those cheesy Hollywood movies they were allowed to watch at camp. Kissing his corporal in the face of death certainly hadn't been one of those scenarios, but it seemed oddly fitting in a way.

_+Where is the right __place__ for an honest kiss? _

_I know I have to find it for us. _

_On some street, getting caught in the rain? _

_On a moonlit mountain top? _

_Or can we only get it from a deathbed?+_

His thoughts were interrupted when Hochstetter waved to his guard Weber. "Begin_." _

The sturdy man nodded silently. With cold accuracy he walked up to his men and started delivering blows that sent them sprawling on the ground. Hogan instinctively jumped forward, but was immediately jerked back by the other guards.

Hochstetter watched with satisfaction as Hogan grew pale, his expression one of utter distress.

"Stop it!", he shouted, still fighting to get free: "They've got nothing to do with this!"

"Oh I wouldn't be so sure of that.", Hochstetter casually replied.

A crunching sound and a suppressed yelp told him that Carter´s jaw had just been broken. He tumbled to the ground while Weber moved on to cracking Newkirks ribs und his boots. It went on for what felt like forever and Hogan eventually ran out of curses to yell at the Major. Still the guard would not stop beating them even as they lay bound and helpless. LeBeau´s shoulder was obviously dislocated and there was blood trickling down Newkirk´s face into his already bruised face.

"You´re a monster, Hochstetter!", Hogan hissed hatefully: "Leave them alone or I will kill you myself!"

Hochstetter only laughed as Weber relentlessly continued.

"Now, that, I could use as one justification for having you shot, Hogan. Anyway, do you feel like talking yet, or do I have to start shooting your men?"

Hogan just glared at him. Shrugging indifferently, Hochstetter motioned for Weber to stop. Slowly, he walked down the line of men who could barely stay upright by now.

LeBeau was again swearing under his breath in French, but the major paid no attention to him.

"So who will it be, colonel?", he asked slyly, closely watching Hogan´s face as he drew his gun.

"Who is important enough to make you talk?"

Hogan bit his lip so hard it almost broke open; his insides felt like a lump of ice dragging him down. He couldn't stand here and watch them die, he couldn't…

"Don't…", he said beseechingly: "Shoot me if you must. They´re innocent."

He knew he was just repeating the same valueless words over and over; Hochstetter could care less if he was telling the truth or not. He had found his weakness at last.

He forced himself to keep his eyes open as Hochstetter passed Carter, brushing the gun over the sergeant´s shoulders. His breath caught in his throat, even as he didn't shoot but moved on to LeBeau. He looked at Hogan curiously as if he were waiting for something. In his frazzled state of mind Hogan could not think of what it was until the major moved on to where Newkirk was kneeling and pressed the gun to his temple.

"NO!"

All the control Hogan had barely managed to muster until now slipped away instantly at the sight of that. Against better knowledge he fought the guards grip more ferociously than ever; it was an instinctive response by his body before the brain could put a stop to it.

He realized his mistake the moment he saw the victorious glint in Hochstetter´s eyes. The bastard had set him up and he´d walked right into it.

"Looks like we have a winner.", Hochstetter sneered, pressing the barrel harder against Newkirk´s temple.

"Haltet ihn fest.", he told the guards who grabbed Hogan even more tightly if that was possible.

"Now...", Hochstetter looked down at Newkirk with mock curiosity. He moved the gun under the corporal's chin, forcing him to look up at him. Newkirk glared at the major without flinching; there was blood smeared almost all over the left side of his face, creating a stark contrat to his pallid skin, and his lip was cracked from one blow or another.

He looked as though he was about to faint.

"Now..", Hochstetter repeated idly, still looking at Newkirk while his words were clearly directed at Hogan: "If you don't mind telling me, why is this one so much more important than the other two, Colonel? Could he have a key role in your little sabotage act after all? Hmm, maybe I should ask him some questions…"

Maybe it was the cold steel on skin where his hands should have been, maybe it was Hochstetter´s cruel sneer, or the look of bleakness in those green eyes he loved: It was the straw that broke the camel´s back.

"I am a saboteur."

Hochstetter turned with his eyebrows arched but without removing his gun. Hogan made a point of staring into the space in front of him so he wouldn't have to see either the major´s gloating or his men´s horrified expressions.

"I will confess everything you want.", he continued: "Under one condition: My men, who have nothing to do with it, go free."

"We´ve been through this before, Hogan, don't think you can make a fool of me."

"Give me any piece of paper, I´ll sign it right now in front of you.", Hogan promised.

"Really?", Hochstetter seemed pleased enough, yet the calculating look didn't leave his eyes. He jerked his head in Carter and LeBeau´s direction: "Alright I will let those two go. But I´m still pretty sure that your corporal here is important to you, and I intend to find out why."

"Alright then, let ´em go. I´ll stay here.", Newkirk interjected without hesitance.

Neither Hochstetter nor Hogan paid any attention to his words as they continued to stare at one another.

"You´re right.", Hogan had to force himself to spit out the words.

He couldn't believe it had come to this. He hadn't been sure he was ever going to demonstrate his feelings for Newkirk, much less in front of a group of Nazi soldiers.

But what choice did he have?

This wasn't about romance anymore, it was about life and death.

"He is important to me.", he admitted: "Yet… it has nothing to do with espionage."

Hochstetter snorted derisively. He roughly jerked Newkirk to his feet who stumbled dangerously for a moment but managed to catch himself so he could go on trying to catch his breath. One hand clasped around the corporal´s upper arm in a bruising grip, Hochstetter shook his head: "I´m afraid you´re not very convincing, Colonel Hogan."

He released the gun´s safety catch without taking his eyes off Hogan. A smile broke across his features when he saw Hogan jerk forward in panic. "No!...No.", he then made himself repeat more calmly:

"Tell your men to let go of me and I´ll show you."

For a moment, Hochstetter seemed to debate with himself whether he really wanted to entertain Hogan´s pleading any further, but of course his lust for revenge got the better of him.

"Fine.", he waved his hand towards the guards who released Hogan and then took back several steps himself: "This had better be good, Hogan."

With the major suddenly letting go of his arm, Newkirk´s legs threatened to give in once more, but he was quickly supported by Hogan´s arms around him.

"Gov´nor.", he breathed shakily against the taller man´s neck as he leaned heavily on him: "Stop this. We won´t let you go down alone…"

It seemed like he wanted to say more, but he trailed off, his body being considerably weaker than his mind.

Hogan grabbed him tighter around the waist.

"Don't worry about me.", he answered quietly: "The mission is what counts. You are what counts."

It was supposed to address all three of his men but even to Hogan it sounded like he was solely talking about this one man in his arms.

"There´s no point…", Newkirk murmured stubbornly as he tried unsuccessfully to fully regain his footing.

"´Course there is.", Hogan dissented with a faint trace of the old enthusiastic colonel back in his voice: "I told you I´d get you out of this and I will. Have some faith, will ya?"

The familiar tone made Newkirk smile despite himself: "´S not you I don't believe in, gov´nor."

One last smile. One last quipped conversation. It had to be enough. Except for one last thing he still needed…

_+Where is the place for an honest kiss? _

_The only thing I still need to give you…+_

"Glad to hear it.", he smiled warmly as he reached up to cup Newkirk´s cheek in his palm: "Goodbye."

The corporal didn't move, he just blinked in confusion, somewhat alarmed: "Gov´nor what..?"

Before he could finish his sentence his lips were firmly sealed with those of his commanding officer. Hogan closed his eyes as his hand slipped to the back of Newkirk´s head, pulling him close, while his other arm kept steadying the wounded man. He kissed him softly but deeply, successfully blocking out the reality outside of his mind.

He was done lying. He was done pretending. This was all he still wanted.

_+When ist he right time for an honest kiss? _

_One that can erase all of our lies._

_Give me the time for one honest kiss, _

_that's how we shall kiss, at least now at the end.+_

Newkirk gasped in surprise, obviously too stunned to react much at all.

His lips were chapped and they tasted of his blood but Hogan couldn't have wished for anything more.

It seemed like an eternity before he could muster the strength to tear himself away.

Newkirk´s green eyes met his brown ones without blinking. He seemed to have stopped breathing, and only his fingers which were clutching onto Hogan's arms in a death grip were proof that his heart was still beating.

"I love you.", Hogan said calmly, as he allowed himself to caress the younger man´s cheek once more: "I´ve loved you for so long. I´m sorry."

It was amazing how, with all the fear of his impending death, he was still able to make room in his chest for a sharp pang of sorrow at Newkirk´s non-reaction. He hadn't expected anything else; he was quick to remind himself, not in this situation, maybe not even under any circumstances. In fact, it was likely that Newkirk would throw an enraged fit once he snapped out of it. Luckily for Hogan, he wouldn´t be around for that.

That was, if he could get someone to actually move along with the proceedings. As it was, for a long, eerie moment, everyone including Hochstetter seemed just frozen into position, gaping in disbelief. The major was so completely stunned that he didn't even think to look appalled at what had just happened.

Carter´s bloodied mouth opened and closed silently, while LeBeau suddenly swore violently under his breath: "Sacré!"

That, at last, seemed to snap the major out of his stupor. He blinked as if to confirm he wasn't dreaming, then turned to stare at Hogan.

"Was zur Hölle…?", he hissed.

"There´s your answer, Hochstetter.", Hogan said quietly as he took an almost hasty step back. He didn't want to -much less to let go- but the way all color had drained from Newkirk´s face as realization slowly hit him was alarming.

Another stab of pain in his chest. He had had no choice, Hogan told himself. Newkirk would get over it. Maybe he would even put it off as just another scheme of his to fool the Nazis.

He didn´t try to talk to him, or to shake him up any further. He had said all he needed to say. And Newkirk didn't look like he was going to remember how to talk any time soon.

Instead, Hogan steeled himself as he returned to the real world. Apparently not even Hochstetter could misinterpret the look of utter shock on the corporal´s face for any kind of prior knowledge of this. So Hogan´s plan had worked; the target was off Newkirk for good.

He waited patiently while Hochsetter blinked a few more times, feeling the eyes of all men in the room boring into him.

"So where´s that signing sheet, major?", he finally prompted, desperate to get it over with: "Seems like you have a few more accusations to add to it now."

Al last, Hochstetter got over the surprise. The smile which had fallen from his face, was slowly returning: "Well that certainly is an interesting turn of events."

He swallowed hard and adjusted his gloves.

"An such a surprising one.", he added, looking at Hogan´s men: "We shall see what else you can tell me. To the courtyard."

And with that he stalked towards the cell´s door and yanked it open. Weber grabbed Hogan even more harshly than before, the contempt clearly showing on his face, and pushed him forward. Hogan followed Hochstetter without protest.

A heavy iron door to the side of the basement was opened with a creak and for the first time in hours Hogan saw something that actually made his heart jump in relief.

There, through the damp blackness of this vault, the first faint rays of dawn were shyly creeping into the room.

The night was over.

Hogan took one last deep breath and then stepped into the light without looking back. Whatever happened now, he had won. He had won over Hochstetter, just like he always did, and he had won over himself. He was free.

_+It will be a kiss that forgives everything and frees the both of us+_

Tightly holding on to that thought, he held his head high, leaving his petrified men behind.

Like Hochstetter, they were absolutely stunned, yet they had not been able to recover so quickly. Carter and LeBeau just took turns staring at Newkirk and then the open door.

From somewhere above them, there was a familiar barking voice giving orders, mixed with the unmistakable whining noise that was characteristic for Klink.

Neither of them acknowledged it as dawn broke on their faces.

Newkirk stood shakily on his feet, his eyes still wide and his bounds hands twitching like he wanted to bring them up to his mouth. His lips moved, forming Hogan´s name, but no sound left them.

Outside, muffled by the stone walls, a sound of thunder ripped through the silence.

* * *

The End.

Now, in case the ending wasn't quite clear -which is what I´m afraid of - it functions like the actual ending of A Sound of Thunder where you hear a loud bang but you don't know if the guy shot himself, someone else, or if it was something else all together. It´s supposed to be the same here: The men hear a loud bang which could be, snif, Hogan being shot, or Müller setting of the detonator. See, Hogan could still have had some time what with signing the papers and all and Klink is on his way. So there are two endings, you picture whichever one you prefer:

First, Hogan is shot but the other men are brought back to Stalag 13 with… well severe emotional scarring, but ok.

Second, it is the munitions factory blowing up, and everyone is startled which gives Klink time to save Hogan who hasn't signed anything yet and the guys all get out safely once more. Both versions allow some speculations of Newkirk´s reaction to what he has learned. The beauty of open endings.

Hope you enjoyed this little story. Please review.

Haltet ihn!-Restrain him.

Was zur Hölle? -What the hell?


End file.
